pkg/p2p(ticdc): fix default p2p config (#11182)

[ti-chi-bot]

This is an automated cherry-pick of #11182

What problem does this PR solve?

Issue Number: close #11215

What is changed and how it works?

Increase the p2p configuration to cache more messages

Check List

Tests

• Unit test
• Integration test
• Manual test (add detailed scripts or steps below)

Deploy ticdc cluster(7 nodes, 8c16g, replicating 150k tables, 1 changefeed) with the following configuration:

[debug.scheduler]
add-table-batch-size = 1000

1. Before this pr:
   The scheduling task took up to 3 hours to complete:
   
2. This pr:
   The dispatch task was completed in 10 minutes:
   

Questions

Will it cause performance regression or break compatibility?

No

Do you need to update user documentation, design documentation or monitoring documentation?

No

Release note

`None`.

[ti-chi-bot]

This cherry pick PR is for a release branch and has not yet been approved by triage owners.
Adding the do-not-merge/cherry-pick-not-approved label.

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Test name	Commit	Details	Required	Rerun command
pull-dm-integration-test	d2475d6	link	true	/test dm-integration-test

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[codecov]

Codecov Report

Attention: Patch coverage is 40.00000% with 12 lines in your changes missing coverage. Please review.

Please upload report for BASE (release-8.1@20ee93f). Learn more about missing BASE report.

Additional details and impacted files

Components	Coverage Δ
cdc	61.6322% <0.0000%> (?)
dm	51.2283% <0.0000%> (?)
engine	63.3950% <0.0000%> (?)

Flag	Coverage Δ
unit	57.3866% <40.0000%> (?)

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